BLOG

Your Negative Self-Image is Holding You Back

Once I started to work on myself and recognized how my body was responding to trauma, how the tension in my body was feeding my need to defend and protect myself, I realized how that fed into my beliefs that there was something wrong with me.
 
There was something wrong but there was nothing wrong with me. What was wrong was that I had carried a negative self image for such a long time that I did not see how it made me feel about myself. It had become the lens through which I saw the world.
 
As I worked to help my body let go of chronic tension and find balance, the defensive side of me would flare up, showing up in how I approached my relationships, expecting the worst and defaulting to self-sabotage. But as my body began to finally feel safe, a new awareness of myself emerged. 
 
As I learned to be present in my body and connected to the present moment, I started to hear my own thoughts. It was a bit shocking in the beginning. All this time, I thought others...
Continue Reading...

Living Out of Your Truth

The trauma from child abuse disconnects us from the truth we feel in our hearts.  The healing journey is about finding your way back to your truth.  Being able to feel again is how you do that.  It's one of the incredible blessings of the healing journey.    

We spend a lot of time learning how to safely feel and release our negative emotions like fear, shame, pain, and loneliness.  But there comes a time when we need to learn how to feel positive emotions, too.  Why?  Because these emotions are our truth.


What is your truth?  It’s the same as mine:

  • Love
  • Kindness
  • Peace
  • Joy
  • Compassion
  • Goodness
  • Patience
  • Gratitude

Slowly work your way down this list and practice “feeling” each of these truths.  Allow them to saturate your heart, soul, body, and spirit until they become a part of you.  


Actually, these truths have always been a part of you.  The trauma of child abuse simply disconnected you from them....

Continue Reading...

Parenting Your Inner Child

 

Becoming a loving, caring, nurturing parent to your inner child can be scary at first. This child remembers every minute of the child abuse you survived, even if you’ve blocked out the worst of it. Ouch!

But don’t worry. Your inner child isn’t going to unleash all those horrible memories on you. Instead, it will only be the parts of you that need healing, the parts you have rejected or ignored.

Yes, your inner child is angry. That’s scary, too. Mine was furious. She wasn’t as upset about the abuse from the past as she was the fact that I had rejected her for decades. I kept giving her to other people to love. She didn’t want their love. She wanted mine.

The wonderful thing about making the commitment to do inner child work is you discover just how loving you can be as an adult. In my case, I discovered I was capable of creating safety for this little girl. I could make her a top priority in my life. I could protect her. I could even help her...

Continue Reading...

How Do I Connect With My Wounded Inner Child?

 

Every time you make a decision to change a toxic behavior pattern, your wounded inner child will appear. It’s what makes healthy change hard for us.

And that’s why inner child work is so important. You can’t recover from child abuse and trauma without doing this deep, messy work.

Your wounded inner child is that very young part of yourself, who was hurt by the abuse and is still in pain. In my case, it was my 6-year old self. She was angry for never being seen, heard, or valued. She believed the only way she could ever be worthy was by overachieving and taking care of everyone else’s needs, while ignoring hers.

Because I could feel her anger, resentment, and pain, I was terrified of her. So I rejected her for decades. Of course, that just added to her painful burden.

Inner child work is the practice of building a loving relationship with your abused inner child and becoming the loving parent that child never had. Easier said than done, right? I mean, how do...

Continue Reading...
Close

50% Complete

Thank You for Subscribing!

My subscribers get a weekly blog update and special event and news updates.

I am not a fan of spam and will never share your email details.