On Periscope Live this past Friday, I wore my heart shaped glasses. We had been digging deep that week, asking some hard questions about healing, so it was time to lighten the mood and laugh a little.
Not only do these silly heart shaped glasses help us to laugh, they also remind all of us to lead from our hearts. To lead with warmth and kindness and love and to choose to see the best in ourselves and in other people. This is called self-compassion.
These are stressful times in our world and for many survivors the holidays are hard and can be very painful. Either you are being reminded of the past by your family's presence (more than usual) around the holidays or you are triggered by the fact that you have cut off your family as a part of your healing and feel alone. For many survivors, the holidays rarely feel safe or enjoyable.
So I wanted to send out this reminder, that no matter where you are on your journey and despite whatever hard choices you have made to choose your sanity, your heath, your well-being, you are not alone. This is our common struggle as humans. We sometimes are asked to care more for the well-being of others than our own. It is a part of our survival strategy. We need people. We need connection. We all want to belong. No matter how painful it is to make that happen, often with the wrong people.
So let's plan for a season of change. Choose to do something that honors you this season. How can you celebrate you? Who you are now and how far you have come? Focus on why you are here and why you are reading this blog. Chances are, you are like me and so many of the people that I am supporting, learning to put ourselves first and to see ourselves with heart-shaped glasses on, seeing the best in ourselves, the worthiness, the love, strength, and accomplishment within.
Be clear why you are choosing you, your health, your wellness, your heart. Why you are choosing to be kind to yourself even when others are not? It is the perfect time to start. This is the season of giving, right? So let's make giving to ourselves a priority, starting now.
When I started to focus and affirm who I am, (even when in the beginning I did not quite believe it) that I am loved and valued, I slowly found the courage to be true to myself. I realized I already belonged. I belonged to myself and I am connected to God, the Universe, or whatever divine spirit was leading me, and it was less and less important to stay connected to those that did not value or respect me, even if they are family.
So remember, your trigger points and discomfort are your friends. They are reminding you of your boundaries, they are reminding you that you deserve better, to be surrounded by people who respect those boundaries. They show us what needs our attention now. Either we are letting others into our lives that perhaps should not be there or we need to do the deep work of accepting and forgiving ourselves around situations that cause discomfort.
This was the theme of our Periscope conversation and what was being shared by the community that night. Members shared their triggers and what they did for self-care to support for themselves. A few also talked about how hard it is when we don't catch ourselves until after we have been triggered. We discussed awareness, how to understand our triggers, how to learn to stay connected, and come back into connection with your body once you see you have disconnected. The sharing was powerful, courageous, and deeply meaningful. When survivors choose to be vulnerable and share their struggles, something powerful shifts, for them and others that are watching and learning. They are rewiring their bodies and their brains for healing. It is self-compassion in action.
During this holiday season, give yourself the gift of grace. Remember you are exactly where you need to be on your journey. Today can be your day to declare, "I am loved, I am valuable, I am worthy of kindness and respect!" Be kind to yourself. As you learn and build capacity for self-regulation and resilience, you are becoming more compassionate and kind, to others and yourself.
Ready to change? Are you stuck? Don’t worry. I can help! Just follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me ($125). Let me help you with the next step to heal your life. You deserve it! Reserve your spot NOW!
Are you looking for more support? I have created a closed Facebook group for the readers of “Releasing Your Authentic Self." If you are ready to dig deep, and want to experience the daily support, encouragement from others like you. Follow this link to learn more: Releasing Your Authentic Self Support Group.