Which Story Are You Telling?

Child abuse survivors don't have just one story. We have three.
The first story is no story, the hidden story, when we are living and breathing out of the toxic shame of our past and spending every moment of our day distracting ourselves and disconnecting from the pain. We don't want to feel it, we don't want to think about it, we don't even want to acknowledge that it happened. But that can't happen for long before the truth catches up to us.

The second is the "Trauma Story," the one that takes the most courage to tell. It's the one about what happened to us. It's a story of trauma, abuse, and victimization. We all have to start there. It's important to realize this is actually a story about the abuser, the person who hurt you and betrayed your innocence, heart, and trust. It's the story of what happened to you, not who you are.

You can't move forward with your healing until you acknowledge the impact of this traumatic experience and allow yourself to feel the...

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My Patreon Page Is Up - Become a Sponsor!

I am very excited to announce that I have finished setting up my very own Patreon page!

It was inspired by my son, who has been telling me for probably 3 years now to set up a way for people to support the work I do. He told me about Patreon and after some encouragement from others in my life, I knew it was time.

Any of you that are connected to me on Facebook know my relentless drive to end the cycle of abuse in our communities. For the past 15 years, I have focused all of my time and energy educating adults, parents, and caregivers about keeping kids safe from CSA. And since 2013, I began to also focus on supporting the healing of other survivors, holding a safe space for them to heal their hearts and reclaim their lives, to live wholeheartedly from their heart, not the hurt.

As my business has expanded, so has my reach. And I am stretching it even more by setting a goal to reach 1 million survivors in the next few years. But I know I cannot do this alone.

I know that every...

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Guidelines and Values Important to Healing

I saw this quote posted recently on social media (the image you see above) that reminded me of the ground rules that I set for group meetings I facilitated years ago. I had just moved back to California after starting a nonprofit in Iceland for child sexual abuse prevention and I immediately noticed the need for support groups in my community, for adult survivors looking for a safe place to heal. So I began to facilitate several groups, both in person and online. The non-profit I was working with in the U.S. helped me to partner with Kaiser in San Diego and they approved our use of one of their office spaces on Saturdays for back-to-back meetings for male and female survivors of trauma.

These groups had similar guidelines to the ones in the picture. Some of them were written and outlined before each meeting, especially for the newcomers. And some of the more important rules even turned into a way of being for members, becoming part of their values and beliefs.

Finding this...

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Reflecting on the Importance of Prevention

 This past week I was invited back to be a keynote speaker at one of the children's advocacy centers in Oregon. I can still reflect on the speech I gave 3 years ago. I had just moved with my family to Oregon and was honored to participate in such an important fundraiser.

 When I spoke at the event 3 years ago, they were raising funds to expand their center and asked me to tailor my message to help their supporters understand the impact of trauma on children and how important it is to have services like CAC's in their community. The event was successful! They had over 700 people join us for lunch to hear about Liberty House's impressive goal to not only continue to provide services to children that have been abused but to continue adding healing services for adults as well. But the focus of this fundraiser was to emphasize the importance of prevention.  
They asked me to share my experience from over 14 years of educating adults about how to keep kids safe...
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