Private Coaching

My clients usually find me after they have tried many other things and are desperate for a solution. After getting to know each other and establishing a safe connection, we begin the deep work of feeling safe with our emotions, reconnecting with our bodies, and practicing self-compassion and self-care. It is a multidimensional process that takes time. The most important part of the process is the relationship you have with the person helping you. It is a partnership of equals, built on deep respect, love, kindness, and trust, the survivor learning how to trust themselves and the healing process.

I empower survivors to see that they are not broken. That they are a textbook example of an adult that was neglected and abused as a child. I walk them through the process of understanding what trauma does to our bodies, our nervous system, our feelings, our thoughts, beliefs and values, and how that shows up in our outside world, our relationships, and how we take care of ourselves, learn to love, and our ability to trust ourselves and others.

The healing modalities that I use and empower my clients to use (depending on where they are on their healing journey and what the most urgent problem is for them) to heal themselves include:

• Understanding the science of trauma and resilience
• Understanding the impact of stress on our biology and nervous system
• Emotional regulation, learning how to safely express our feelings
• Inner child work, becoming the parent and protector that you needed
• TRE® (Tension and Trauma Releasing Exercises)
• Mindfulness and meditation, learning to silence the mind, connect to the body, find stillness, and be present
• Reiki energy work, opening yourself up to receive the love that is available all around you, to help you heal yourself
• Self-compassion and self-acceptance
• Self-love, vital in being able to set boundaries and limits with yourself and others
• Self-care, with exercise and healthy eating as a top priority. Healing is an endurance practice/sport. You need to be rested, well-fed, hydrated, and flexible. Self-care is also a sign of progress. When you take care of yourself first, you have more to give to others.

Here is an example of some of the questions I ask my clients during our sessions and some of the exercises we go through together:

1. “What is challenging you today? As you talk about it, where do you feel this in your body? Slow things down and become grounded and connected with the awareness of your body and what it is trying to tell you with your words, thoughts, feelings, or sensations.

2. As we connect with the felt awareness, we can get curious. What is it trying to tell you? Does it just need to be heard or/accepted to let go? What story has it made up about who you are and why you are bad/shameful/not good enough/nor worthy?

3. Where did it come from? Is it true? Do you want to continue believing this or do you want to change it? Write a new script, followed by loving kindness and self-compassion.

4. Take daily action steps of gratitude, mindfulness, self-care, choosing to live out what you want now. Journal with what comes up and express the feelings/resistance as they come. Are the feelings from your younger self? How can you hold him/her and assure him/her you both are okay now?"

We work on staying grounded in our bodies through this process, practicing self-regulation as you learn to accept your truth as it rushes forward to be seen heard and validated. And finally, feeling a sense of belonging is achieved. Healing is not an isolated journey. It occurs between two people or between two parts, you and a part of yourself that has been hidden, denied, shunned, shamed, or repressed. The journey is about allowing each part to have their turn to come back into the light and to the knowledge that they were loved all along. You learn that all those parts belong and you belong to them. You learn that you belong amongst your fellow survivors, people that love and accept you for who you are because they understand your pain. Your pain is their pain. And you learn that you belong to yourself, always.

Between our sessions, my clients have the ability to email and check in, to share and ask for additional support. I have found this to be invaluable support for them. They are able to go about their lives every day knowing that they are not alone, that they have someone around that has their back and understands their pain. They get to feel a sense of community, knowing they are being supported by someone that has been through and is still on their own journey too. The additional support also teaches my clients the vital skill of finally being able to ask for what they need and to reach out for help when they need it. No more suffering in silence and being “too strong” for help. They learn that healing IS asking for help.