As child abuse survivors, we work really hard to do the best we can with our children. We want them to have what we didn’t. So we try to create a healthy, nourishing environment to help our kids grow and thrive in the best way possible.
But after working all day, sometimes there isn’t much left of us for our children. That used to bother me a lot. I felt like I wasn’t giving my kids 100% of what they needed from me.
Finally, I realized I was trying to give them what “I” felt they needed, not what “they” feel they needed. They didn’t need a mother who ran herself ragged every day, trying to be a supermom. All they wanted was what I needed when I was a child: to be seen, heard, understood, and validated.
How do you make this happen for your children?
You simply do less and listen more. In fact, the less you say the better. Instead, listen intently to whatever your kids want to tell you. Ask questions when appropriate and make...