Summer is almost here and we are already on month 6 of the year, I can’t believe it. Now is the perfect time to review your healing progress, to check in with yourself and the tools you’ve been using and what’s working for you and what isn’t.
But first, I want to celebrate you for your commitment to your healing. I know it can feel like two steps forward, one step back sometimes. Remember to not focus on what you didn't accomplish. Because that's not important. The only thing that matters is what you did accomplish. I know you had several victories so far (even the smallest changes can be HUGE victories in the healing journey) and I hope you celebrated them. If you haven’t, do that now. You deserve it!
What healing goal did you set for 2019? It’s easy for abuse survivors to forget change is a growth process and that part of healing is to learn to trust the process. The journey is the healing, not just the destination.
Survivors often ask me if there’s a way to speed up the healing process. The fact that the healing journey takes so long can be frustrating, I know. Especially when you’re exhausted from struggling with the aftereffects of child sexual abuse, it can feel hard to believe sometimes that you too can reach those goals. You’re ready to change. You’re ready to heal. And you want it NOW! But ups and downs are a part of it. Learn to appreciate the yearly goals you reach, as well as the bumps in the road along the way. Each one appeared at the right time and the right place to teach you an important lesson that will lead you to future success.
If you haven't had a chance to write down your goals for 2019, I encourage you to do that today. Asking and intending for good things to happen is the quickest way for them to manifest.
If there are too many and you feel overwhelmed, focus on just one thing. What is the most important goal you want to accomplish in 2019? Is there more than one way for you to accomplish it?
It can be anything. What I have learned over the years is that the good stuff, like incorporating a healthy habit or learning a new skill, develops slowly over time. That’s because good changes occur in stages and never all at once.
Here’s what I mean. Change is initially a mental exercise, so the first stage is governed by willpower and excitement. In the second stage, you create a routine to support this new change, which helps you deal with emotional resistance. By the time you progress to the third stage, this new change has become a lifestyle or a new area of skill or strength. But that only happens after you confront and resolve each area of resistance you encounter in the second stage. You must look those fears in the eye, assure your inner child that he/she is safe, and convince this child that the new change is good, that he/she is worthy of reaching that goal. Each one of us faces doubt and uncertainty on the way. Only then can you make peace with the resistance and work through it each time you set a new goal or are making changes to achieve it.
There’s no way around it. This entire process takes time. I suggest to my clients to create a long term plan and focus on one thing for the year. It may not take you a whole year to reach the goal, but if you’ve decided to do something kind for yourself every day for self-care, it helps to create a plan to manifest it. Then it’s just a matter of working on your plan until it becomes a new habit.
You deserve everything GOOD in life. But it all starts with a goal, then a step-by-step plan, and then finding someone to support you along the way. Let 2019 be the year you manifest your most important goal. You can do this. Go for it! I hope you share it with us in the comments below. I believe in you.
Tired of feeling depressed or stuck? Don’t worry, I can help! Just follow (this link) or call 619-889-6366 to reserve a one-hour coaching session with me ($175). Let me help you with the next step to healing your life. You deserve it! Reserve your spot NOW!
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